Numbing The Drive

Many people fall into the cultural hypnosis and social proof that says “you must work hard to earn a living.” But this is usually backed up with the presupposition that you are going to work for somebody else. Create something for yourself otherwise there are plenty of other people that will want you to do work for their creations. I also remember something Jason Mraz said – “a lot of the time we get stuck in what we think we have to do. This job that I think I’m supposed to have. I’ll take a vacation in a couple of months that will be my time. No! This is your time. If going to work is want you what and have to do then you can still make it your time.”

When did people stop being true to themselves? I see the majority of people over weight and smoking today. These are the cultural methods to feel comfortable when feeling uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable about being over weight? What if that feeling gets stronger? What do you do? You get some FOOD to feel comfortable. If you smoke then the doctor said that your health is at great risk. You stress over the fearful future and reach for a smoke to calm down. These two habits are agents of numbing courage and drive. Instead of reaching for another piece of food or fag why don’t people use those negative feelings for drive to get them out of this cycle? It is because giving up this behaviour is more painful than keeping it.

Our human nature is to avid pain and to gain pleasure. These are the two directing forces of human behaviour. But often people do a lot of odd and illogical things to attain pleasure and primarily avoid pain. Why do some people self harm when they feel hopeless and depressed? Surly they are causing more pain on top of pain? Pain and pleasure are determined by the six human needs.

1. Certainty (comfort/control/safety)
2. Variation (surprise/stimulation/excitement)
3. Significance (needed/worthiness/superior)
4. Love/connection
5. Growth
6. Contribution

These are human needs, not wants or desires. These are universal needs that all human in every part of the world shares. When all your needs are met in high levels you feel incredibly fulfilled. When the needs are not being met you feel like shit. Everybody has different maps on how to meet these needs. If someone is feeling depressed (meaning the present is devastating their needs and/or the future will do as well) and they self harm themselves they do this to meet their needs while they cannot think of anything else more empowering. When feeling overwhelmed you focus and believe that you can not do anything to change the painful situation. So something else must be done to get out of the pain. Self harm could meet the needs of certainty because now you feel you have control over your pain. You may feel a variation of state but most of all possibly you are self harming yourself because is a significant problem which shouts out for significant love and connection. I may not be accurate but usually self harm meets the needs of certainty, significance, and love/connection. Why some people keep it a secret while other make it obvious is dependent on their belief systems.

People have stopped being true to themselves so they settle for less than they can be.. an unfulfilling life. Because it is unfulfilling people eat or smoke to fill the emotional hole. This un-satisfaction is meant to be fire fuel to get out of the painful life into a fulfilling one but people numb that with eating and smoking. Cultural beliefs hold people back from using their birth right potential to change and create life.

Sylvester Stallone said in one of his Rocky films “Somewhere along the line you changed, you stopped being you. You let someone stick a finger in your face and tell you your no good. And when things got hard you start looking for something to blame… like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know – the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and kick you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. It’s not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep on moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward? That’s how winners have it done. If your willing to go through all the battling to get to where you want to get then who’s got the right to stop you? Who’s got the right to tell you that? Nobody – it’s your right to listen to your gut and it’s no one’s right to say no. You have the right to be what you want to be, do what you want to do. Now, if you know what your worth then you get what your worth. If your willing to take the hit and not pointing fingers saying your not where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that isn’t you – your better than that!”

It’s worth being a kid again and dreaming of what could be. It’s not worth being numb and serious. It’s worth being passionate and curious. It’s not worth being bored and doubtful. It’s worth being alive rather than being comfortable.

Cheers,

Seb